Let’s begin with trying to witness ourselves in this moment

Take a step back from the exterior

And observe your internals

Their connections

Knowing them

Familiarizing yourself

If you’re not now, consider finding a comfy space for yourself

A quiet place

A soft place

Go to that place physically

Your car

Your bedroom

A home

Sit there with me







Once there

Feel your skin

Touch this comfortable place

This comfortable surface

And release your weight into it

Allow gravity to gently pull you

In

Towards

With

This Safe Space




Breathe into this space




Breathe out to this space




Feel yourself anchor to this space

Pulling away from the surface of your life




of the next task

Remove yourself from this surface

The plan of your day

Or your week

Or year

Sink deeper

Into your depth

From the

Outside

Sink

Here

Here with me




Breathe in



And submerge

Deeper

And exhale





Feel to that place inside

you





That hidden place

Deep

Inside

You





Go that place inside







Give yourself permision

Give yourself permi

ssion

Give yourself permission

Go to that place inside

You don’t have to be strong

You don’t have to hide

You don’t have to cover





You just have to submerge

And sink

Into

you









Bring yourself under

Under the hiding

Under the shame

Under your chest

Under your fear

Under your loss





Slip inside there





It’s ok to go there

To find there





it’s ok to be there

And

Not fight

Not dismiss

Not shame





What do you see there?

Name what you see









This time has caused a break

A fracture

Do not continue to walk upon it

In this moment

It’s time to let It out

Allow the fracture to be seen

This grief

This suffering

Our own and others

Know we are here

But hurt too

Crying too

Confused too

That we have no year too

No certainty too

Grief

Grieving

Trying to understand why security has left

Why we cannot trust

That things are what they are

Are safe

Are a home

Where has our home gone

Where has my home gone

And why

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

Home

Friend

Love

Refuge

Safety

I miss us

I miss what we were

I

miss

what

we

were



Feel your throat tighten

And let it build

And build

And open











And open











And open

PHILTH HAUS  ︎  virtual care lab

  at the end of my eyes, you




follow for updates! ︎

Together, we empower the tear amidst our seismic grief. This gathering, a public livestream soundbath, poetry reading, and crying ceremony opens a portal to a heightened state of emotionality – and to an intimate video chat resulting in an epistolary, tear-scented correspondence.

Let us cry. Together, in three parts.  


ABOUT THE HOST

PHILTH HAUS is an art collective of 6 members, or entities: ANDRA, SYLLA, LYLEX, COLY, ROCO, and PHILIP. This community is channeled by ANDRA and now interacts as an ever-evolving system of trans member entities searching for a form. Their recent album is "Faint Breath". The collective has been exhibited in Los Angeles, New York, Boston, and Honolulu, and currently is a participant of 2019-2021 De Ateliers Artist Residency in Amsterdam. ANDRA is a graduate of Harvard University with a B.A. in Molecular & Cellular Biology, Minor Studio Art cum laude.


photo
O2 of sacred hands whiplash lullaby silver tide crests exhaling now all that grows is soft