Vulnerability Companion System

Let’s begin with trying to witness ourselves in this moment

Take a step back from the exterior

And observe your internals

Their connections

Knowing them

Familiarizing yourself

If you’re not now, consider finding a comfy space for yourself

A quiet place

A soft place

Go to that place physically

Your car

Your bedroom

A home

Sit there with me

Once there

Feel your skin

Touch this comfortable place

This comfortable surface

And release your weight into it

Allow gravity to gently pull you

In

Towards

With

This Safe Space

Breathe into this space

Breathe out to this space

Feel yourself anchor to this space

Pulling away from the surface of your life

of the next task

Remove yourself from this surface

The plan of your day

Or your week

Or year

Sink deeper

Into your depth

From the

Outside

Sink

Here

Here with me

Breathe in

And submerge

Deeper

And exhale

Feel to that place inside

you

That hidden place

Deep

Inside

You

Go that place inside

Give yourself permision

Give yourself permi

ssion

Give yourself permission

Go to that place inside

You don’t have to be strong

You don’t have to hide

You don’t have to cover

You just have to submerge

And sink

Into

you

Bring yourself under

Under the hiding

Under the shame

Under your chest

Under your fear

Under your loss

Slip inside there

It’s ok to go there

To find there

it’s ok to be there

And

Not fight

Not dismiss

Not shame

What do you see there?

Name what you see

…

This time has caused a break

A fracture

Do not continue to walk upon it

In this moment

It’s time to let It out

Allow the fracture to be seen

This grief

This suffering

Our own and others

Know we are here

But hurt too

Crying too

Confused too

That we have no year too

No certainty too

Grief

Grieving

Trying to understand why security has left

Why we cannot trust

That things are what they are

Are safe

Are a home

Where has our home gone

Where has my home gone

And why

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you

Home

Friend

Love

Refuge

Safety

I miss us

I miss what we were

I

miss

what

we

were

Feel your throat tighten

And let it build

And build

And open

…

And open

And open

PHILTH HAUS ︎ virtual care lab

VULNERABILITY
COMPANION
SYSTEM

performance
soundtrack
︎

This is a durational performance of 1 hour, beginning when you load the page.
If you registered for our post-ceremony gathering,
please join us at approximately 12:00pm Pacific Time after viewing.

VULNERABILITY COMPANION SYSTEM is a monthly series of participatory, livestreamed grief practices curated by artist PHILTH HAUS. We open this portal to heightened states of emotionality.

Guided by diverse companions, each present in multiple facets of grief and emotionality of this moment, the practice aims to build an online archive of videos and practices to return to when you need companions in moments of emotionality.

We do not expect you to cry, nor prioritize a single experience of emotionality. We offer this space to sit with your unique experiences and emotions, as we open ourselves to experience our emotions in full.

Together, we empower the tear amidst our seismic grief.

ABOUT THE HOST

PHILTH HAUS is an art collective of 6 members, or entities: ANDRA, SYLLA, LYLEX, COLY, ROCO, and PHILIP. This community is channeled by ANDRA and now interacts as an ever-evolving system of trans member entities searching for a form. Their recent album is "atoyfl". The collective has been exhibited in Los Angeles, New York, Boston, and Honolulu, and currently is a participant of 2019-2021 De Ateliers Artist Residency in Amsterdam. ANDRA is a graduate of Harvard University with a B.A. in Molecular & Cellular Biology, Minor Studio Art cum laude.